


Useless Gay

by unknown_knowns



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: 10k words in you're still finding more drama, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Drama, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Friends, Exes, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Kind of dark, LGBTQ Themes, Masturbation, Mild S&M, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Fantasy, population: you, sexual assault themes, so much drama, two-faced!Rachel, welcome to drama town
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:55:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9402539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknown_knowns/pseuds/unknown_knowns
Summary: Rachel is a black hole sun.Victoria isn't sure how to handle her ex being overwhelmed by it.Max deserves better.Even if she's kind of useless around pretty women.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Friends.
> 
> My depictions of Rachel so far have been pretty positive, but I think she's just as interesting a character when taken in the other direction.
> 
> I also wanted to write a fic with some exes in it, since I don't actually recall reading too many LiS fics with those. Particularly when those exes are still around and plot relevant. 
> 
> Backstory is vaguely similar to "Surface Tension", but different, as you'll see.

Friday night.

Victoria was in her room.

Her stereo system was on.

Almost as loud as it could go.

She was just a _little_ bit tipsy.

Taylor was here, too.

 

Victoria laid down on her couch.

She crossed her arms and legs.

And gently bobbed her head from side to side to the beat of the music.

She closed her eyes and just relaxed.

They had probably a half hour or so to kill before the party tonight.

Not enough time to really get into anything.

 

Taylor was sitting on the edge of Victoria’s bed, scrolling through her phone and enjoying the music.

She heard the knock to the room’s door first.

She looked to Victoria.

Or maybe she was just expected to handle it.

With a small sigh, she put her phone away, and got up.

Victoria must have heard it as well, as by the time she’d gotten to open the door, the music had been turned down enough to facilitate some semblance of conversation.

Taylor scrunched her face up and peered outside.

“Who the fuck is it?”

This, she had been told, was the required greeting for anyone who knocked on this door.

Taylor didn’t recognize woman standing in front of her.

She had decent-enough clothes on, but her hair was a bit too scraggly and unmaintained.

More importantly, her arms were crossed in such a way that she was hugging at herself.

The posture didn’t exactly exude confidence.

She’d been looking down, slightly, but looked up to Taylor at the question.

She also wasn’t really wearing much makeup and it was showing.

But she had cute blue eyes, at least, even if the freckles Taylor didn’t find particularly endearing.

The woman’s face scrunched up as well, and then she frowned.

But then she just breathed in.

“Your music is loud. Can you turn it down?”

Taylor scoffed and crossed her arms.

She leaned against the door frame and shook her head.

“Um, _no_? Who do you think you are, girl? This is ---”

Before she could finish her sentence, though, the music cut off.

This seemed to catch the both of them off guard.

Taylor looked behind, to Victoria.

She could be seen from the door way, and had placed a hand over her eyes in the intervening moments.

“Music’s off.”

Victoria’s voice was a kind of flat, unfeeling thing that Taylor didn’t remember hearing too often.

She looked back to the woman who’d knocked on the door.

She looked past Taylor to Victoria, and just sighed.

“ _Thanks_ , ‘Tori. I won’t bother you again.”

Victoria just grunted flatly.

Taylor, for her part, was dumbstruck by the exchange, and couldn’t form words.

The woman turned around and went into the dorm room across from Victoria’s.

Eventually, Taylor regained enough composure to close Victoria’s door.

The music hadn’t been turned back on.

Victoria was actually _honoring_ that bitch’s request.

Taylor furrowed her brow and frowned.

More out of concentration than anything else.

She kept her arms crossed as she walked back over to Victoria’s bed and sat down on it.

The bed and couch were adjacent, so her spot on the corner edge put the two of them in close proximity.

“You never let _me_ shorten your name.”

It was like the _least_ pressing question on Taylor’s mind but she couldn’t help it.

Victoria exhaled wearily and slowly peeled her hand away from her eyes.

She interlaced her fingers on her belly and tilted her head back to look up at Taylor.

“You weren’t my girlfriend.”

“I –“

_What._

Taylor’s mind just stopped processing everything for a few seconds.

_What._

Victoria didn’t have any ---

_What._

Once again, Taylor’s mouth worked faster than her mind,

“ – but you’re, like, y’know … straight. Right?”

Victoria tilted her head back to just look at the ceiling.

Then she closed her eyes.

_Smooth, dumbass._

“Yeah. It was a phase.”

Taylor frowned, and this time, it wasn’t out of concentration.

Victoria’s hesitation in response and inability to look her in the eyes while she did it gave Taylor the impression she was lying.

But she knew better than to press her on this, anyway.

“Did you guys fuck?”

Victoria made a sputtering sound, and coughed.

She sat up on the couch and shot Taylor the dirtiest look she’d ever seen.

But Taylor was pretty sure Victoria was blushing.

“None of your _goddamn business_ is what that is.”

Despite the intensity of Victoria’s features, and the sharpness of her gaze, Taylor couldn’t help but grin.

“Oh my god. You totally did.”

Victoria’s glare somehow got more deathly.

Taylor was enjoying this.

“Bitch, say that louder, I don’t think the entire floor heard you yet.”

Taylor giggled.

“Oh my god Victoria --- oh my _gooooooooooood_.”

Victoria looked off to her sound system, and turned it back on with her remote.

It was much quieter this time.

But it’d mask some of their conversation from any adjacent dorms.

Victoria then stood up, and walked in front of Taylor.

Her glare hadn’t gotten any softer, but Taylor was entirely accustomed to it by now.

Victoria crossed her arms and pouted her lips slightly.

Taylor just casually looked up to her with that big stupid grin of hers.

“I mean this is – _wow_ – this changes – I mean – I can’t believe – _oh my god, Victoria!_ ”

Taylor could hardly form a coherent sentence with her excitement.

She was even jittering, bouncing up and down slightly on her seat.

Victoria sighed severely and brought a hand up to rub at her own temples.

Her glare went away, since she knew it had no effect on Taylor by now anyway.

After a few moments of consideration,

“What’s it going to take to make you shut up about this, _forever_?”

Taylor calmed herself down just enough to sober up her expression.

“The whole story.”

Victoria frowned.

She hesitated, then,

“No deal.”

The tone of her voice was … different, again.

That kind of unnerving flatness.

Taylor was trying to piece together what particular emotion or thought process it related to.

But Victoria was an enigma, sometimes.

Victoria turned around at this, and huffed.

Taylor canted her head.

Just what the hell had gone on between the two of them to cause her to be so secretive?

With a sigh, Taylor stood up from the bed and carefully placed a hand on Victoria’s shoulder.

“Real talk. Won’t say a word to anyone else. Promise.”

Victoria laughed briefly.

“Yeah. Right. Like I’ll believe _that_.”

Taylor grinned, and thought about engaging further in a playful manner.

But she sobered up her expression, again.

She had a feeling something was up, here, and Victoria needed an outlet.

With some considerable effort, Taylor bled the amusement and playfulness out of her voice.

“No, like, seriously.”

Pause.

“You know I like women Victoria. I wouldn’t dare out you if you  ---“

Victoria snapped her head back so quickly it damn near fell off,

“--- It’s **_not_** \---”

Victoria’s words were sharp, angry.

Biting.

But she saw the gentle look on Taylor’s face.

And she couldn’t keep it up.

She closed her eyes.

Victoria slowly deflated and turned around.

She looked calm when they opened back up, though her posture was still defensive, with her arms crossed.

“I’m not --- _not_ \--- like that.”

Pause.

“If I tell you and so much as a fucking _cockroach_ in your goddamn room hears about this, you’re dead, alright?”

Taylor put up her hands defensively, and kept her voice even and calm,

“I promise I won’t tell anyone anything.”

Pause.

Victoria was looking at Taylor’s face intently.

Perhaps for a sign of deception.

For some reason, this studying gaze was harder for Taylor to handle than the glare.

Still, it eventually yielded, and Victoria just sighed.

“I’m such a fucking idiot for trusting you but _someone_ should probably hear this shit. Tomorrow morning, after the party.”

Pause.

“Now pretend that scene didn’t just happen.”

Taylor nodded calmly, and sat back down on the bed.

Victoria sat back down on her couch.

“And … don’t talk to Max.”

Victoria sounded exhausted, here.

She knew her too well.

Taylor couldn’t help the playfulness in her voice, anymore.

“Like I would _ever_ go behind your back like that, Victoria.”

Victoria scoffed and closed her eyes.

But she was smiling, gently.

\--- 

Max wanted to go the party tonight.

But she also didn’t.

She just started college.

She really ought to loosen up, some.

She’d been so focused on school, lately.

Max didn’t really fit in with any social group, right now.

Maybe she could meet some new friends there.

Or at least people to talk to.

Max stared at the clothes she had picked out in advance.

It's not like they had any answers for her, but it was symbolic.

Invariably, Victoria would be there.

Max sighed and closed her eyes.

Thoughtlessly, she pulled her hair back to bring it into a pony tail and arrest it into position.

In their divorce, of sorts, Victoria took these kinds of social activities.

Max made a point of not attending any events Victoria did. If she had a choice, anyway.

But that was more than a year ago, now.

They were adults, now.

Max could handle this like an actual adult now, and not just ignore her ex.

Maybe.

She brought a hand up to rub at her temples and sighed wearily.

She’d be so pathetic if she skipped this party.

Just some loser sitting in her room all night.

That settled it.

Max breathed in deep, and started to change clothes.

These clothes were more revealing than what she usually wore.

But fuck it.

The point was to live a little, after all.

Victoria said she always looked better in them, anyway.

More confident in who she was.

Max could use more of that.

She’d put on some makeup to hide her freckles, too.

They weren’t all that interesting.

She didn’t want to be anything like the nervous little girl in high school.

Not anymore.

 

This music was _loud_.

Is that why Victoria played her music so loud all the damn time?

Was she actually deaf?

Max wasn’t even in the building, yet, but the music was already almost overwhelming from the distance outside.

She came all alone.

She had considered inviting Warren, or one of the other people she was kind of friendly with, but.

They weren’t really the type for parties.

Just another way Max didn’t fit in, anywhere.

But she put the thought out of her mind.

Lots of people were here all alone, too.

This was the start of a new school year.

And there were a lot of freshmen, like her.

Max picked up a drink on the way inside.

She knew she would need a little help to avoid the thumping bass and sheer intensity of the music from overwhelming her.

 

Max made it to one of the areas people were dancing, in front of the DJ.

She stayed away from the actual dancers, though, instead preferring the anonymity of the crowd around them.

Just watching these people act so care free and happy made her smile vicariously.

Or maybe that was the alcohol.

One of the two.

Still, she was smiling.

She was happy.

She was enjoying herself.

Coming here wasn’t a mistake.

And she hadn’t even seen Victoria yet.

Maybe she decided to skip this party.

 

Suddenly, the music ended, and the DJ started to fuss with his laptop.

The juxtaposition of volume was so drastic that Max felt a little uneasy all of the sudden.

Suddenly, there was no thumping bass working as a supplement to the beat of her heart.

Suddenly, there was no intoxicating melodies or compelling rhythms.

It was just the sound of the raised conversations of everyone else around them.

The dancers stopped, and started to go back into the general crowds.

Their friends there gleefully accepted them back in.

As the time ticked by, the crowd started to disperse a little bit.

The DJ seemed to be having more than a little bit of trouble.

Max watched as a girl walked up and started to argue with the DJ.

She recognized her as the other one in Victoria’s room, a little while ago.

Didn’t have a name to go with her, though.

Must have been ---

“Hey, cutie.”

Max blinked.

Was that aimed at her?

It sure sounded like it.

A woman’s voice, too.

Max hadn’t even _seen_ this woman and yet she was already feeling fucking nervous.

Fucking useless.

Carefully, she averted her gaze from the scene with the DJ and towards the source of the voice and ---

 _Wow_ she was pretty.

She had beautifully long hair, and her smile worked in just all of the right ways, and her eyes danced just so pleasantly when they met Max’s own and ---

She was close.

Very close.

Max could barely feel her breathing going down the front of her body she was so damn close.

Max couldn’t help but look around, to see if somehow there was someone behind her, or something; some other reason for this beautiful woman to have said what she had said.

The woman giggled.

“I’m talking to you.”

Max laughed nervously.

“Um. Hi. You’re. Um. You look … nice, too?”

Max was such a fucking useless dork.

But the woman just smiled wider, and giggled again.

Max giggled too.

She didn’t know why, but it was infectious.

“I wanna dance. Don’t you?”

Max blinked.

_No, no no –_

Max did not want to dance.

That’d be humiliating.

She’d be flailing like some kind of idiot mutant and everyone would know how useless and dumb and pathetic and ---

“You’ll do fine. Trust me.”

This woman didn’t care about Max’s insecurities at all.

She gripped at Max’s hand, and pulled her out of the safety and comfort of the crowd.

And into the lime light.

Her timing was impeccable.

The music started again right then and there.

She started to dance.

“C’mon, don’t make me do all of the work, cutie.”

_Cutie._

There was that word again.

Max was definitely blushing, but ---

She had a drink or two in her now, and this woman was just ---

Max started to dance.

She didn’t want to disappoint her.

Coming here wasn’t a mistake.

\---

Victoria was a fucking stone.

This couch was never comfortable, and that was never the point of it.

But that wasn’t the reason for her pissy mood.

“What do you _mean_ Rachel is with someone else?”

Taylor giggled.

She was sitting on the same couch, with a friendly amount of distance between them.

They were both in the special section of the party for cool kids.

The music was quieter, in here.

Easier to think with.

“You know Rachel. Free spirit. But she was definitely dancing with a new face after I got that _idiot_ DJ playing music again.”

Victoria huffed and impatiently rapped her fingers on this armrest.

She’d been sitting on the edge of the couch for this reason specifically.

Taylor just smiled.

“You should lighten up. Rachel’s not that bad, really.”

Victoria huffed again, more indignantly this time, and shot Taylor one of her dirtier looks.

“Um, _no_. I will not ---“

“--- Really, Vic, being thirsty and jealous as fuck isn’t a good look on you.”

Nathan interrupted.

Taylor giggled.

Victoria crossed her arms and dug her nails into her own skin.

It kind of hurt, but that was a good thing.

“I am _not_ jealous of Rachel.”

Nathan laughed.

He’d been sitting on the couch, too, on the far opposite end.

He took a sip of some unlabeled bottle and just shook his head.

“You so totally are.”

Victoria stood up and started to walk out of the lounge.

Taylor got up,

“Hey, where are you going?”

Victoria rolled her eyes.

“Away from Rachel dick-riders. Where do you think?”

Victoria had her reasons for disliking Rachel.

Even past the obvious ones, like Rachel was objectively better-looking with much less effort.

Something was just _not_ fucking right with that girl.

She was _too_ perfect.

No one in her social circle had a fucking single bad thing to say about her.

No one was _that_ perfect.

No matter how hard they tried.

Victoria knew from experience.

So she was going to find out, personally, something imperfect about this witch of a woman.

Even if it hurt her reputation among her friends somewhat.

This bitch had to go _down_.

 

The best vantage point was from the DJ’s stand.

That’s where Victoria went.

The DJ tried to butter her up, probably in an attempt to smooth over his mistake from earlier.

She ignored him.

He wasn’t her objective, right now.

She scanned the crowd of party goers beneath her.

Both literally and metaphorically.

It wasn’t long before she saw, in the crowds ---

“You could have anyone you want in here, you know.”

Taylor’s voice, a bit raised to be heard over the music.

Victoria frowned and looked off to her side to where Taylor was.

“I know.”

And she did, and believed it, too.

“You don’t need to be so angry about Rachel.”

Victoria’s frown deepened, and she looked off into the crowd.

“You believe me about her, don’t you?”

It was hard to convey much tone when she had to speak louder, but she tried to make her voice sound hurt.

Taylor sighed and crossed her arms.

“I don’t know, Victoria. She’s just so nice, you know? You’re the only one that has a problem with her.”

_You’re the only one that has a problem with her._

Victoria grit her teeth.

“Thanks for the fucking trust. It means a lot to me.”

Taylor groaned,

“Victoria, please don’t ---“

Victoria just shook her head.

“--- Bother someone else. We’re done for tonight.”

Taylor frowned, but got took the hint, and left the stage.

Victoria watched her go out of the periphery of her vision.

She then just sighed.

This was so fucking painful.

She was so close to Taylor, earlier.

Before Rachel.

She was so close to Nathan, earlier, too.

Before Rachel.

The insidious thought came to her, though.

What if she was wrong?

Even now, as she watched Rachel dancing, she looked so happy.

Care free.

_You’re the only one that has a problem with her._

Victoria sighed and closed her eyes.

Maybe she was over-reacting.

Maybe she should just go back to the lounge and try and relax.

That was the whole point of the damn party, anyway.

To enjoy herself.

She wasn’t enjoying herself, right now.

Coming to this party was a fucking mistake.

When she opened her eyes, again, though, Rachel was gone.

Victoria blinked.

She looked around, some more, but nope.

Totally gone.

_You’re the only one that has a problem with her._

Despite the better part of her mind telling her that this grudge was unhealthy and tearing her apart, she couldn’t help herself.

Victoria walked away from the DJ booth and tried to find Rachel.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was just fucking wrong with her, somehow.

 

Victoria found Rachel with a lady friend out back.

Behind the party venue.

She was definitely fucking snooping, now.

This _surely_ was going too far.

But, still.

This damn feeling.

Victoria got closer to the two.

She realized Rachel’s lady friend was Max, when she was a bit closer.

This information was again almost enough to get her to disengage.

Max was moving on.

Victoria was intruding.

Max would _never fucking forgive_ her if she went so far out of her way to cockblock her, like this.

But. Still.

This damn feeling.

 

With a sigh, Victoria pulled up right behind Rachel.

“Rachel.”

Of course, it took a few moments for Rachel to process the news, and realize that Victoria wasn’t going anywhere.

She had Max up against a wall, and was mostly obstructing view of her.

She pushed herself off and turned around to face Victoria.

More than a little bit of blush.

Rachel raised a hand up to brush some errant strands away from her face.

Then she smiled.

That fucking smile.

It felt so plastic or fake.

It never fucking went away.

Victoria’s arms were crossed and her nails were digging into her skin, again.

“Icky Vicky. You have some fun timing … what’s up?”

She didn’t _sound_ annoyed, but Rachel never did.

No one ever seemed to impose on her.

She was always so accommodating.

If anything, she sounded playful.

_You’re the only one that has a problem with her._

_Stop while you’re ahead._

Victoria was nothing if not strong-headed.

Too late to back down, now.

“What are you doing with Max?”

Rachel laughed earnestly, and crossed her arms.

“C’mon vic. I don’t have to explain making out to you, do I?”

But Victoria wasn’t talking about that.

She was talking about how Max had been mute the entire time.

Victoria stepped off to the side, to get a better look at Max.

She was still leaning against the wall, and hadn’t even opened her eyes.

She looked totally fucked-up.

Victoria frowned.

“No. What are you _doing_ with Max? She’s fucked up.”

Victoria should have felt validated that she caught Rachel doing something shady as fuck, but.

She didn’t really want to be _right_ about all of this.

Rachel just kept on smiling.

“I’m doing what you never have the balls to, Vicky-vicky. Get a nice person to take home for the night.”

Victoria scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“It doesn’t count if they’re so fucked-up they can’t even fucking talk.”

Victoria looked to Max again and stepped closer.

“Max? Max. C’mon, Max. Say something.”

Rachel’s expression soured a little bit, now.

Not that Victoria noticed it, right now.

“Alright, come on. This is just rude now.”

Victoria huffed and turned to face Rachel directly.

She walked right up to her.

“No, this is just fucking pathetic. She can’t even talk, asshole. You’re taking advantage of her.”

Rachel shrugged and rolled her eyes.

“How’s a friend of Nate so naive? You should really listen to him more often, Vic. Maybe you’d be less thirsty.”

Victoria grunted and gritted her teeth.

Not like she approved of Nathan’s “dating” techniques, either.

“This is not about me. This is about Max. I’m taking her to somewhere safe.”

Rachel went quiet, and then frowned.

“Nathan isn’t going to want to hear about how mean you’re being.”

Victoria hesitated.

Nathan definitely _wouldn’t_ like to hear that Victoria was going so far out of her way to disturb Rachel.

But then she just shook her head.

This was more important than that.

Nathan could fucking deal.

“So what.”

Rachel smiled.

“Ooooh, feisty tonight. What about Jefferson? I’m not going to keep helping you to ---“

Victoria damn near growled,

“--- **Fine**. I don’t care about Jefferson.”

Rachel paused again, and then laughed.

“Alright Vicky, you win. You can take her and … do your things. I won’t judge.”

And just like that, Rachel turned on her heel and started to go back to the party, proper.

Just shy of it, though, she turned her head to look back at Victoria.

“But I’m not going to forget this. You want my help again, you’re going to have to be … awfully _convincing_.”

Victoria knew this was flirting and she fucking hated it.

But she didn’t give Rachel the satisfaction of an annoyed response.

Rachel just laughed softly again, still quite amused, and let the doors to the inside close loudly.

 

Afterwards, Victoria sighed wearily and walked in front of Max.

She gently patted at her cheek.

Max murmured something incoherent and barely moved.

Totally gone.

Well.

Tonight was over, now.

Victoria sighed.

She just hoped she made the right decision.

And that she didn’t really need Rachel’s help, anymore.

She wrapped an arm around Max and started to help her back to Victoria’s room.

And tried not to notice she was wearing that perfume that she always liked.

 

Victoria was _so close_ to her room.

Max was a serious light-weight, but it was still a lot of effort to help her all of the way here.

But there was someone leaning on the wall close to her room.

Smoking out of an open window that was at the end of their hallway.

When she heard Victoria approach, she put out the cigarette and turned around.

Immediately, she jammed her hands into her pockets and walked up _right_ in front of Victoria.

“Where’s Nathan.”

Chloe, as polite as ever.

Victoria just frowned.

“I don’t fucking know? He’s not on my leash. Probably at the party still.”

She couldn’t help her voice but to come to spiny and aggressive.

Chloe basically hated her for how she thought of Rachel.

But there was no love lost, there.

Victoria couldn’t stand Chloe’s attitude or the way she dressed like a punk.

And yet.

Chloe still obnoxiously bothered Victoria an awful lot for either the location of Nathan or Rachel.

Like she fucking knew.

Chloe huffed and took her hands out of her pockets to cross her arms.

“And that?”

She nodded to the drunken Max body that Victoria was still helping along.

Victoria suddenly realized this looked pretty bad from Chloe’s position, and frowned.

“I’m helping her to my room.”

Chloe scoffed, but raised an eyebrow.

“Didn’t know you had it in you, Victoria.”

Victoria shot her one of her trademark death glares.

“Fuck off. She’s a … friend, and drank too much.”

Chloe rolled her eyes.

“Like you care about that. The abuser-in-chief is your best friend.”

Victoria just grunted.

Her complicated relationship with Nathan was not something to discuss right now.

Not that she wanted to talk about it with Chloe, of all people.

“Well I care about this one, and you’re in the way of her getting to safety. So fucking _move it_.”

Chloe took another look at Max, and her expression softened, somewhat.

She hesitated far longer than Victoria was expecting.

Then, Chloe just frowned again.

“I don’t buy it. Something’s not right, here. She doesn’t look drunk, she looks drugged. The fuck did you do to her?”

Victoria sighed.

If she told Chloe the truth, she’d immediately distrust her.

But if she made something up, Chloe probably would be able to tell, and distrust her still.

Lose-lose.

But.

Maybe if she framed it a certain way …

“Taylor told me Rachel was with someone. You know how I think about Rachel. So I went to go fucking snoop. Then, I find her like this, and I tell Rachel off. That’s all I know.”

Chloe’s frown deepened.

“Your bullshit vendetta against Rachel again, I swear to god –“

Chloe looked off, behind Victoria, to nowhere in particular.

She thought on it for a few moments.

Then, she looked back.

Her expression was at least a bit softer.

“I don’t buy it. Even if that _sounds_ like something you’d do, why would you go out of your way to help just this girl?”

Victoria hesitated.

Chloe was kind of right to distrust her on that ground.

Could she tell her that Max was ---

“Well?”

Chloe tapped her foot impatiently.

Victoria looked down to the floor, breathed in deep, and walked up closer to Chloe.

When she looked up, she kept her voice quiet.

“Because this girl is my ex, and it scared me to think of what might happen to her, okay?”

Chloe’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened.

Victoria shoved her way past.

Chloe didn’t stop her or resist.

“You tell a fucking soul and I’m mounting your head on a wall.”

But Chloe was still in stunned silence, and had no words for her.

And she remained that way long past Victoria dragging Max into her room and closing the door.

 _Fuck_.

What a damn night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria's door is abused.
> 
> Max is disappointed.
> 
> Chloe doesn't recognize someone.
> 
> Rachel kisses someone.
> 
> Victoria is pissed.
> 
> Chloe laughs.

Victoria woke up suddenly to a knocking on her door.

Her face was planted sideways on her desk.

Just shy of her keyboard.

She blinked, then groaned, and slowly sat up.

Her entire body ached.

That was like the _least_ comfortable position for sleeping in and she _definitely_ had some cramps now and ---

Someone was knocking at her door still.

Right.

Hazily, Victoria stood up, and stretched some as she made her way over to the door.

She opened it.

Taylor.

Victoria frowned and tried to close the door, but.

Taylor’s foot was in the way.

Victoria’s frown deepened and she looked to the foot, then back up to Taylor.

“Get your freaking hoof out of the way.”

God her voice sounded terrible so early in the morning.

She needed some water.

Taylor huffed.

“You owe me a story.”

Victoria shook her head.

“That’s before you went and stabbed me in the back about Rachel.”

Taylor groaned and looked off to the side.

She crossed her arms.

Victoria tried to close the door again.

Dull thud.

Taylor looked back to Victoria, and her expression was a little bit more thoughtful.

“Don’t you try and pin this on me. You went and stole her date for the night – you can’t just expect to cast her as the demon in this somehow.”

Victoria’s frown deepened still.

Rachel was at least making good on her threats last night, if nothing else.

Victoria cracked her neck.

“I didn’t ‘steal her date’. I rescued Max from date-rape.”

Taylor sighed and closed her eyes.

“Victoria …”

She sounded exhausted, like she was dealing with a petulant child.

“If you don’t fucking believe me then don’t fucking come here anymore.”

Victoria finally had the bright idea to kick Taylor’s foot away so she could close the door.

When it shut, she turned around, and damn near jumped out of her skin.

Max.

She looked as groggy as Victoria felt, only there was a distinct layer of confusion on top.

“Date rape …?”

Oh Christ.

This timing was just _not_ good.

Victoria calmed herself down enough from the sudden surprise of Max to just nod.

“You were fucked-up last night, Max. Didn’t you take those stupid freshman classes about drinks and ---“

“--- I don’t remember.”

Bang bang bang.

Taylor on the door, again.

Max’s confusion became more severe, and she slowly looked past Victoria to the door.

“Who’s ---“

“--- Nevermind, not important. What do you mean you don’t remember?”

Max sighed and raised a hand up to rub at her temples.

She looked down to the floor.

“I mean I don’t remember anything. I just remember … going to the party … seeing this … beautiful woman … and then …”

Max frowned.

“Dancing, I guess, and nothing. Then I’m here … and … why, exactly, am I in your room?”

Bang bang bang.

“I can fucking _hear_ Max in there, Victoria.”

Max looked up again but Victoria just waved a hand dismissively.

“Old friend. Being annoying right now.”

Max continued to frown.

“Right, I guess … look, we didn’t  … ?”

She trailed off, but Victoria knew what she was talking about.

“No.”

Max breathed in deep, and nodded gloomily.

“Didn’t think so.”

She turned and sat back down on the couch.

She folded her hands together and just looked down to the floor.

“You can um, talk to your friend now. Just keep pretending I don’t exist. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

Fucking _ow._

Victoria watched her go and sit down, and sighed herself.

Bang bang bang. Bang. BANG.

Taylor was going to fucking punch a hole in her door at this rate.

With an annoyed grunt, Victoria turned around and opened her door.

“Some manners you have.”

Taylor brusquely shoved her way past Victoria to stand in the middle of her room.

Victoria just rolled her eyes and closed the door, again.

The two of them quickly crossed their arms and stood off, defensively.

Victoria glared.

So did Taylor.

But.

Then Taylor sighed, and she shook her head.

“I don’t want to fight, Victoria.”

Victoria scoffed.

She wasn’t backing down.

“Bit fucking late for that, isn’t it, bitch?”

Quiet.

It was awkward.

Taylor shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

Max bit her lip, but then just breathed in, and looked to Victoria.

“Do you do this with all of your relationships, ‘Tori?”

Fucking. **Ow**.

Max’s words were so quiet, so hurt.

But they didn’t need to be strong to be piercing and unbalancing.

They about killed Victoria anyway.

Instead of dying, Victoria raised a hand up to cover her eyes, and collapsed back against the door.

“No … I don’t … I …”

Victoria without her words was a rare beast.

Especially when what words she did have came out halting and miserable.

Max sure knew how to bring it out sometimes, though.

Taylor sighed, and walked in front of Victoria.

Carefully, she placed both of her hands on Victoria’s shoulders.

Victoria grumbled and weakly tried to wiggle her way out, but.

Taylor remained firm, and Victoria eventually stopped protesting.

“Remember in high school? Senior year?”

Taylor softened her voice to almost as quiet and gentle as it could.

Victoria kept shielding her eyes, but melted more against the door.

“Maybe …”

Taylor exhaled easily,

“Our big fight. You wouldn’t talk to me for a week.”

Victoria breathed in deeply.

On the exhale,

“I remember.”

Victoria lowered her hand.

Taylor’s expression was so soft, halting.

She never wanted to fight Victoria.

“Just … Rachel’s …”

Victoria looked off to somewhere, anywhere else, before back to Taylor,

“This is really difficult for me.”

Taylor nodded, gently, and removed her hands from Victoria’s shoulders.

She put a little bit of friendly distance between them.

“And I want to understand. But you need to tell me everything.”

Victoria frowned, slightly.

Taylor looked to Max, who had just been quietly observing.

“And you should start with your ex.”

Max blinked at this, and looked to Victoria.

“You told her about me?”

Victoria groaned and raised a hand to rub at her temples.

“Max, no, I … I was a little tipsy, and Taylor asked me a stupid question, and I just --- slipped.”

“Oh.”

It was just one word, but there was a lot in it.

She sounded dejected, wounded, even a little upset.

Somehow, that was the wrong answer.

Victoria didn’t understand ---

Taylor rolled her eyes and sighed wearily ---

“Max.”

Max looked up to Taylor,

“I asked Victoria about why you, of all people, could shorten her name. That’s when she told me you were her ex.”

Victoria looked carefully at Taylor, uncertain as to why she was elaborating.

Max looked equally uncertain.

“Then, she got this stupid fucking smile on her face, and looked up to the ceiling. It wasn’t a slip, and it wasn’t because she was tipsy.”

Victoria opened her mouth to say something –

But she looked to Max, first.

In those brief moments immediately after Taylor’s words, she looked much more at ease.

Maybe even a little happy.

What?

Max looked to Victoria, again.

“Is that true?”

Victoria never wanted Max to sound so hurt.

Even if she didn’t entirely agree with Taylor’s account, she decided to play along.

Kind of.

“I … yeah, I guess, I don’t know.”

Max sighed again and slouched back against the couch.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

_Seriously who the fuck._

All three of them looked to the door, and Victoria turned around.

“Yo bro, open up. I’m checking for bodies and broken hearts.”

Chloe.

Victoria frowned.

“Go away, Chloe. We’re full in here.”

“Chloe …?”

Max had this wistful, hopeful edge to her voice.

Victoria looked back to Max but ---

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Her attention was forced back to the door.

“You can’t keep me out. I can pick locks, dumbass.”

Victoria groaned.

“You are such a shit criminal, I swear to god … You’re not supposed to _announce_ the crime you’re about commit to the world.”

Someone’s hand was on Victoria’s shoulder and she damn near jumped out of her skin _again ---_

“Is that Chloe Price?”

Max’s voice, hushed.

Victoria slowly lowered her hand from her heart – and looked sidelong to Max.

Her hand was easier to accept than Taylors, anyway.

After a few seconds to steady her own breathing,

“Yeah, she’s a real fucking pain in the ass.”

BANG.

Victoria’s poor door was not going to survive this ridiculous morning.

“I heard that.”

Victoria rolled her eyes.

“And thanks for proving the point.”

She could hear inconsolable grumbling from the other end of the door.

Somehow, Victoria grinned, slightly.

Annoying Chloe _was_ kind of fun.

“Let me talk to her.”

Victoria blinked, and looked to Max again.

“What.”

Max frowned, and shook her head.

“She’ll listen to me.”

Victoria blinked yet again.

“I … go for it, I guess. One less headache for me.”

Max smiled, and gently patted at Victoria’s shoulder.

Victoria backed off and turned to face Taylor.

As Max left and the door closed behind them, Taylor slapped at Victoria’s shoulder.

“Ow, what the fuck ---“

Taylor frowned.

“--- You can be mean to me all you want, but that girl’s a sad sack. Don’t do that shit to her.”

Victoria’s face scrunched up in her confusion.

She rubbed at her slapped shoulder.

“What?”

Taylor sighed wearily, but looked disbelieving for a few moments.

“Don’t be an idiot. She’s clearly insecure as fuck about you two breaking up. Don’t act like she’s some dirty secret.”

Victoria frowned, but mostly out of concentration.

“I just told her the truth and ---“

“--- **_I_** told her the truth. You invented some bullshit that made it sound like it just slipped out of your mouth for no reason. You didn’t have any drinks until we got to the party.”

Victoria thought about it.

Was she misremembering it, somehow?

Victoria’s earnest confusion seemed to be disarming Taylor, though.

Her face softened up, and she looked more concerned.

“You don’t remember?”

Victoria sighed.

“I don’t remember it like _that._ ”

Quiet.

Taylor considered the news a while longer.

Her face became more troubled.

“I thought you were …”

Taylor sighed, too,

“I thought you were doing that _thing_ again. Where your fucking ego is more important than everyone else in the room.”

Victoria frowned, earnestly this time.

“Hey, fuck you too.”

Taylor groaned and shook her head.

“Focus. Your ex.”

\---

Max was breathless almost as soon as she closed the door behind her and got a good look at Chloe.

 _This_ was Chloe?

Fuck.

She’d seen her a few times before, already.

But, then –

She just looked like some skater burnout.

Right now, though, she didn’t look like some skater burnout.

She still had the clothes for it.

Wife beater.

Torn jeans.

Visible black bra.

One of those baseball caps on backwards.

Hair dyed an unnatural color, and cut short.

Tattoos everywhere.

But then there was that look on her face.

It wasn’t a hardass punk.

It was concerned.

Soft.

It made Max smile a little bit.

“Oh, shit, she _didn’t_ drink your blood. I was a little worried.”

Playful.

Chloe was always playful.

Max’s smile widened.

Chloe smiled, too, and crossed her arms.

But the posture wasn’t defensive.

It was confident.

“Hi, Chloe … you look so different now.”

_Really, Max? That’s the first thing you say to her?_

Max kind of hated how she didn’t open with something more meaningful, like, how much she’d missed her, but ---

Chloe’s face scrunched up.

“What ---“

Max blinked, but then remembered.

 _She_ didn’t look anything like she used to, either.

Chloe probably didn’t recognize her with totally different clothes, hair, and makeup on.

“--- Oh, right, um.”

Max tilted her head forward and moved her hands back to free her hair from her pony tail.

She also had a special wipe for removing makeup quickly, and got rid of some of it along her cheeks to bring out her freckles, again.

Before she could finish, though, Chloe bounded right in front of her and tightly wrapped her arms around.

Max coughed weakly.

“Chloe … can’t breathe …”

“Dude – holy fuck – dude – I mean – fuck! You’re here!”

\---

“Max was … kind of a lot of things, to me.”

Victoria started, slowly.

She’d sat down on her computer chair, and rested a cheek on one of her hands.

She’d killed a water bottle before sitting down, and had its corpse to waggle around aimlessly with her other hand as she spoke.

Taylor sat down on Victoria’s couch and leaned over herself, to listen intently.

“I’m pretty sure was my first crush. But she was definitely my first relationship, and my first time.”

Taylor hummed flatly.

Victoria sighed.

“But it’s like … you know. Dating a girl is so weird. Everyone looks at you differently.”

Taylor frowned, but kept her peace.

Victoria shook her head, and sighed dreamily.

“Max is so sweet, but so naive.”

Then she frowned, a little bit.

“I think she thought she could make me nicer, or something. And maybe she thought I could help her with her confidence issues.”

Quiet.

“And that didn’t happen?”

Victoria hesitated.

“I …”

She thought about it a bit more.

“I don’t know. I’m not exactly nice. She still fumbles around pretty women.”

Taylor continued to hum.

“What was she like before you met her?”

Victoria made an amused scoff, and turned to place her empty water bottle on her desk.

Then, she leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs.

“The dumbest, cutest idiot you’ve ever seen. Had a real knack for being bullied. Didn’t fit in anywhere. Dressed like out of the clearance rack of a goodwill.”

Taylor nodded, carefully.

“Did she ever go to parties?”

Victoria laughed, briefly.

“Did she ever go to parties. No, of course not. She’d just sit in her room and wallow in self-pity all night.”

Taylor started to smile.

“Would she ever have the courage to dance with a strange, beautiful woman?”

Victoria blinked, and suddenly caught on to where Taylor was going with this.

She crossed her arms and huffed and frowned, but.

It didn’t change her response.

“No. She wouldn’t have.”

And afterwards, she felt kind of silly.

She brought her hands down to her lap and sighed.

Quiet.

“Why’d you break up with her?”

Victoria looked off to the side.

“ _I_ didn’t break up with _her._ ”

Taylor blinked.

\---

 “Ah. Fuck. I just.”

Chloe was jittery, full of all kinds of boundless, excitable energy.

Now that she was no longer crushing all of the air out of Max in that hug, though, Max could actually _breathe._

“I’ve missed you too, Chloe.”

Quiet.

Max could almost see the gears turning in Chloe’s head as she processed more information.

Then, she frowned, and crossed her arms.

“Where have you been?”

Max looked off to the side and rubbed at her arm compulsively.

“Seattle. Boring school stuff ---”

“--- Dating popular girls.”

Max blushed before she could help it, and looked back to Chloe.

“She told you about that? She doesn’t seem to um … like you very much.”

Chloe laughed earnestly, and extended her arms out to either side of her body.

“Who cares.”

Chloe’s carefree attitude was so infectious.

Max smiled still, even if Chloe was ostensibly upset at her from the lack of contact.

Chloe lowered her hands to her waist.

“But yeah. Could have called, or … something. Shit’s not been fun since ---“

“--- I know, Chloe, I know …”

Max started to hear the confidence leave her voice.

Chloe frowned.

“Do you? Do you know? Because I’m not sure you do, Max.”

Max sighed now, and looked down.

She probably shouldn’t have expected Chloe to just forget about the years of silence between them.

“Just … everything happened so fast. He died, then my parents decided to move, and …”

Quiet.

“… the moving was so stressful, and everyone hated me at school, and I got picked on, and …”

She looked off to the side.

It sounded more and more pathetic and less and less convincing the more she talked.

She should probably just stop while she was ahead, now.

“And?”

Chloe’s voice got quiet, too.

Max looked back to her.

“And I didn’t want to bother you with all of that stuff. It wouldn’t be fair. You had so much more real things to deal with … I was just being an idiot awkward kid.”

Quiet.

Chloe was considering the news.

Max could see the gears turning in her head, again.

Then, Chloe smiled ever so slightly.

Max mirrored automatically.

“Well. You were hella wrong. And I’m so going to kick your ass about this for, like, a year.”

Max couldn’t help but frown, slightly, but Chloe wasn’t done,

“Buuuuuuuuut. Butbutbut. I wouldn’t want to miss you _now_.”

Max breathed a sigh of relief.

“Welcome home, Max.”

Max laughed gently and walked close to hug Chloe, again.

Only this time, without the whole compressing-the-very-fabric-of-her-being-out-of-her.

Just a normal hug.

“I’ve been here for a few weeks, you dork. You’re a little late.”

Chloe grinned, and moved a hand to rub at Max’s shoulder, before returning the hug.

“We should make up the lost time, then.”

Max sighed dreamily.

“Yeah …”

\---

“Um, what?”

Victoria looked back to Taylor and frowned, slightly.

“You heard me.”

Taylor sighed.

“What did you _do._ ”

Victoria crossed her arms and grumbled.

Taylor kept looking at her expectantly, though.

“I wouldn’t let our relationship be public. My da ---“

Victoria’s eyes widened, and she seemed to think better of whatever she was about to say,

“--- ahh--uhh—aays were just easier if it was just an at-home kind of thing.”

Taylor frowned.

“So no one knew you were gay. Except Max.”

Victoria huffed.

“Because I wasn’t.”

Taylor groaned in that way she did when Victoria was being particularly unreasonable, and slouched her head off to one side.

When she righted it, again,

“So, what? Did you blow off a date or something? Did she just get fed up with her being a secret?”

Victoria shrugged, and hesitated.

She looked down to the floor.

“I don’t think it was anything specific. We just moved on.”

Taylor frowned.

Despite the fact this was ostensibly to help air some grievances, she had the feeling Victoria wasn’t telling her something.

Suddenly, Victoria stood up, and cleared her throat.

“I need some more water bottles for my mini-fridge.”

The confident, above-it-all woman was back, like she had never gone anywhere.

Maybe this would take more than one session.

But still, some kind of progress.

Taylor smiled and stood up with her.

“Sounds good.”

\---

After Chloe and Max separated, they started to walk down the hallway.

Chloe had some prior commitments to see to, but they could catch up more along the way.

But they both stopped, suddenly, as Rachel and Nathan rounded the corner into the hallway.

This wasn’t especially unusual; Rachel’s room was in this hallway, close-ish to Victoria’s.

The timing was a bit of something else, though.

Rachel smiled and raised her hand up for a gentle wave.

“Heeey.”

Her voice was bouncy and playful.

Nathan’s expression was neutral, and he looked between Chloe and Max.

Max immediately looked to Chloe, who waved back at Rachel.

“Oh hey Rach. What’s up?”

Rachel continued to walk closer until she was in front of the two.

Nathan followed right behind.

Now that he was closer, Max could see he had some photography equipment.

She recognized it as the kind to take general portraits.

He even had a lighting umbrella, which was a little awkward to just carry around.

“I --- Oh my _god_.”

Rachel’s voice was suddenly directed at Max.

What?

What did she do now?

She was literally just existing here, trying to defer to Chloe and –

“You have freckles.”

Max blinked.

Oh, right, she had removed some makeup from earlier, and –

Rachel was close, again.

She apparently didn’t believe much in personal space.

Max breathed a little uneasily, but couldn’t avert her gaze away from Rachel.

Better lighting only made her _more_ attractive, not less.

Not even the little part of her mind screaming at her that Victoria had seriously used the words “date rape” was enough to compel her to do much of anything.

Rachel grinned oh-so-wide and leaned in close.

Closer.

Closer still.

Close.

Max couldn’t breathe at all, now.

Rachel exhaled, and it cascaded down every inch of exposed skin on Max’s front.

She shivered without meaning to, and closed her eyes.

But that was a mistake.

Rachel raised a hand up to rub at the other cheek, that Max hadn’t cleaned yet, and the physical contact ---

It was too much.

Max made a surprised yelping sound, shot her eyes open, and immediately raised both of her hands up to cover her mouth.

Rachel didn’t seem offended, though.

If anything, she was amused.

“They’re adorable.”

Rachel’s declaration had Max blushing.

Why was she so damn nice?

She couldn’t ---

Suddenly, Max heard a door behind her open.

Rachel noticed, and seized the opportunity.

She pushed Max against a nearby wall and kissed her directly on the lips.

Max’s hands just kind of sat uselessly by her chest, since the shock of the situation was more than a little overwhelming.

This was too far, too fast ---

But Rachel was so warm ---

This wasn’t appropriate to do in front of everyone ---

But Rachel was so kind and eager ---

When Rachel pulled away, Max was in awe, breathless and wordless.

Her mind was going a million miles an hour to say _something_ to Rachel.

Maybe to tell her that Max really wasn’t certain if she was comfortable moving so fast.

Maybe to tell her that Max was really worried about what Victoria claimed.

Maybe to tell her that there were too many people around.

But her throat was choked off, and no words came.

She said nothing, and just stared at Rachel, like the big dumb idiot she was.

Rachel’s smile was so genuine, so honest, so attractive.

“… dude.”

Chloe’s stunned word was enough, oddly, to get Max to avert her gaze.

Chloe wore her shocked expression openly, but she kind of always did.

She was an open book, like that.

Behind her was ---

_Oh no._

Please no.

Victoria, looking mighty cross, with her arms crossed defensively, and a severe frown on her face.

Taylor was right by her, with a hand on her shoulder, but Max could tell Victoria was seconds away from lashing out.

Rachel didn’t give her that satisfaction, though.

She just giggled.

“You’re a good kisser.”

She said it _way_ too loud and Victoria would _definitely_ hear ---

But Rachel was suddenly pulling away further, brushing past Max and Chloe to her room.

“Come on, Nate. We have work to do.”

Max only just now remembered Nathan was here, too, and he didn’t look very happy, either.

Was this a game to Rachel?

Or was she just forward with her feelings?

Max couldn’t tell and wasn’t at all used to someone paying so much attention to her so publicly.

Nathan followed Rachel begrudgingly into her room.

No one moved an inch until the door closed, and it was just the four of them.

“The fuck, Max.”

Victoria’s words, first, and they were sharp.

Max sighed uselessly and brought a hand up to rub at her temples.

She was still overwhelmed and shocked, but felt better capable of forming words, now.

Even if her face was on fire from her blush, to the point that even her ears felt heated.

“I – I -- I don’t know!”

Chloe frowned, and turned around to face Victoria.

“Hey, lay off. She’s not yours anymore.”

Victoria ignored Chloe, and shoved her way past, to get closer to Max.

“Don’t you fucking ---“

But Chloe didn’t handle that too well, and skipped sideways to stay in front of Victoria.

“--- I’m talking to you, bitch.”

This situation was quickly getting out of control.

The _look_ that Victoria shot at Chloe was just so spiteful and angry ---

Max had to do something.

She closed her eyes, breathed in deep, and puffed her chest out.

“Please don’t fight over me.”

This was enough to cause both of them pause.

Chloe pursed her lips.

Victoria continued to frown.

“Fine.”

Chloe walked to Max’s side, but kept her arms crossed.

She didn’t stop looking away from Victoria.

Victoria walked in front of Max, and kept her arms crossed, too.

But when was she closer, she just sighed, and allowed her arms to fall down to her sides.

“Please. Max. If you only listen to one thing I've said let it be this: Rachel is dangerous. Stay away from her.”

The request was so earnest and her voice was so soft that not even Chloe had a rebuttal ready.

Max didn’t know to handle the situation.

She didn’t like the idea of Victoria picking her future partners like this at all, but there was clearly _something_ going on here.

And she still wanted to de-escalate to have a more level-headed conversation about these things.

“I … I’ll keep that in mind, ‘Tori.”

Victoria closed her eyes, and exhaled loudly.

“Thank you, Max.”

She then looked to Chloe, and her face harshened considerably.

“And _you_ …”

Her voice got louder, more angry.

Max frowned.

“’Tori …”

She really didn’t want them to start fighting _again._

Victoria pursed her lips, and gave a sidelong look to Max.

Then, she looked back to Chloe.

Her frown was less severe.

“Don’t let your crush on Rachel blind you. Remember how Max looked last night?”

She kept her voice mostly calm.

Chloe hesitated.

“I … yeah, I do.”

Chloe looked away from Victoria, and grumbled.

Quiet.

“Then think about that whenever I talk about Rachel to Max. _I’m_ not the enemy here.”

Chloe didn’t offer any words in rebuttal.

She was too busy digesting.

Victoria only waited a short while for a response, anyway, before she turned on her heel and walked out of the hall way.

Taylor followed behind, and mouthed the word “sorry” to Max as she passed by.

 

When it was just the two of them in the hallway, Max sighed and raised a hand up to rub at her temples.

What a fucking mess.

She turned to face Chloe.

“Do you really have a crush on Rachel?”

Chloe cleared her throat, and looked to Max.

Her expression was thoughtful.

“What, you want to talk girls, now?”

But she immediately turned it around to be playful.

Max laughed softly, and smiled.

If nothing else, Chloe was good at dissolving some of the tension Max was feeling.

“Dork.”

Chloe grinned wide and shrugged.

“Guilty. Yeah, kind of. We can talk about her later, alright? She’s kind of a big deal.”

Max nodded.

If she was being honest with herself, she didn’t want to have any more conversations in the hallway, anyway.

Just in case _another_ friend from her past inexplicably showed up to complicate her interpersonal relationships even more.

 “Right. Lead the way.”

Chloe turned, hooked her thumbs in her jeans, and started to walk out of the hallway.

Max hesitated, and imitated the gesture of her thumbs in her pockets, before following behind.

She’d make this all work, somehow.

Someway.

“So uh. What happened to me, last night?”

Chloe sighed.

“You looked dead or something -- completely unresponsive. Victoria was helping you back to her room. She said she found you like that … and that Rachel did it.”

Max hummed thoughtfully.

“Do you believe her?”

Chloe grunted.

“Dunno. It’s hard to imagine Rachel doing something like that… but I can’t really see Victoria personally doing that, either.”

Chloe sighed.

“I figured it was just some more of Victoria’s usual hate-boner for Rachel, but … I dunno, after that kiss. They're playing some kind of game and I don't like it one bit.”

Max hummed again.

It was still kind of hard to believe that Rachel kissed her.

Not that Max was going to forget it anytime soon, though.

Still, it raised more questions.

“What does Victoria have against Rachel?”

Chloe laughed.

“What _doesn’t_ she have against Rachel? Rachel is everything Victoria wants to be, only she does it effortlessly, and without making everyone hate her along the way.”

Max frowned, slightly.

“I don’t hate Victoria.”

“I … ---“

Chloe sighed.

“I know, Max. It’s going to take me some time to … really process that.”

It was Max’s turn to laugh.

“You don’t believe me?”

Chloe grinned, again.

“Now who’s being the dork?”

They made their way into the stairwell, leading down to the campus grounds proper.

“I’m allowed to be a dork around you, Chloe.”

Chloe paused.

Max almost bumped into her, by accident.

“Yeah.”

Now, Chloe’s voice wasn’t playful.

It was soft.

Gentle.

Chloe reached back and wrapped an arm around Max, to hug her to her side.

Then, she continued moving.

“It’s really nice to have you back, Max.”

Max smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max and Chloe talk.
> 
> About girls.
> 
> Victoria thinks.
> 
> About girls.

This had to have been the worst seat Max had ever sat on.

Objectively.

A rusted-out car hood.

In the middle of nowhere.

In some junkyard.

Surrounded by other symbols of decay.

It was metal: harsh and unyielding.

There was no support for the parts of her back that needed it.

No real place to rest her arms, and her hands could only sit in her lap.

Some of the rust was even a little worrying.

Max was pretty sure that’s how you got a disease.

Of … some kind.

Tetanus?  

Do people still even get that anymore?

Or was that one of the diseases mankind more-or-less eliminated?

Was Max sitting here in the junkyard thinking about something that basically had no chance of happening?

Maybe it was like Polio, and ---

“Max. Dude.”

Max breathed in, suddenly.

She looked up to see Chloe.

Chloe was standing in front of the hood of the car, with a bottle of beer in one hand.

Max could smell it from here, over the decaying metal, somehow.

“I only left you for like five seconds. Don’t go all space cadet on me now.”

Max sighed.

Earlier, she’d pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around.

Now, she unwrapped herself and sat with her legs dangling off the edge.

Chloe got up on the hood of the car next to her, and crossed her legs.

One hand rested about her ankles while the other supported the bottle of beer as she raised and drunk from it.

A chilly breeze rolled through and Max shivered unconsciously.

Chloe finished taking another round of her beer and sat the bottle down.

“Told you to wear more clothes.”

Max looked off to some trees in the distance.

Chloe was wearing more clothing now than Max had ever seen her.

She had a military-like jacket on, only there was fur along the collar.

Hers had all kinds of patches sewn into it, as well.

Like it was a keepsake.

“I thought we’d hang out in the clubhouse, or something. Not sit on junkers.”

Chloe scoffed, but then smiled softly.

“I thought you’d want to take some hippie-dippie photos. Like you used to.”

Max smiled too, and exhaled with amusement.

“Of what, _these things_? They’re just ugly junk.”

Chloe rolled her eyes.

“Uh-huh, like artsy types ever care if something is actually good-looking.”

Max’s face scrunched up, and she turned to look at Chloe.

Chloe took another sip of her drink.

“I betcha I could take this bad boy ---“

Chloe patted at the hood of the car,

“--- and cut it up a little bit. Sell it as modern art. Make a gajillion dollars. Live in Cali in one of those kick-ass penthouses.”

Max laughed gently.

“You’ve thought this through.”

Chloe blinked.

“I did?”

But then she just smiled, and Chloe’s smile was such a pure thing.

So infectious.

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

Chloe slid off the hood of the car, but left the beer bottle where it was.

She stretched and cracked her neck.

“C’mon, cold idiot. We can sit in the clubhouse, too.”

 

Max shouldn’t have, but she did.

It wasn’t right, but she couldn’t help it.

It was just ---

So odd to see.

Inside the shitty shack they’d affectionately dubbed the “clubhouse” there was some graffiti.

_Chloe + Rachel_

She shouldn’t have been staring.

This is what she should have expected would happen.

Max fucked off and left Chloe alone.

Chloe found someone else to fill the void.

But, still.

Even rationalizing it, Max felt a little hurt, a little jealous, just looking at the words.

It probably wasn’t healthy.

Chloe noticed, suddenly.

There was a terribly uncomfortable couch they’d both been sitting on.

Chloe frowned, then sighed, then leaned forward and clasped her hands together.

“Rachel’s kind of a big deal to me.”

This was a quiet, thoughtful Chloe.

Max wasn’t that familiar with it.

It was odd enough that Max could peel her eyes away to look at Chloe proper.

“Chloe, I … I really didn’t mean to leave you alone.”

It wasn’t the most appropriate response, but Max could tell it was still bothering Chloe.

Chloe sighed again, more wearily, and looked down to the floor.

She was quiet for a little while.

“Maybe it doesn’t matter what you meant to do, Max.”

Max bit her lip.

Chloe hadn’t looked up.

“It meant the same thing, either way. Everything I ever cared for in my life fucking off when I needed them the most.”

Max frowned, but had trouble disputing that.

She looked off to the graffiti, again.

“Except Rachel.”

“Y-yeah.”

Chloe exhaled the word like a sigh, but her voice was a little shaky.

She sniffled, then sat up straight and patted at her lap.

Max looked back to her.

Chloe was looking at the wall, not Max.

But her eyes were a little irritated, a little puffy, a little red.

“Then my Mom went and fucked that … _idiot_ and --- ugh.”

Chloe raised a hand up to harshly brush through her own hair.

Max frowned, slightly.

“Joyce re-married?”

Chloe hesitated, then melted back into the couch a little bit.

She found another bottle of beer to consume.

Max wondered vaguely where she kept getting them from.

After taking a sip,

“Yeah. Massive douchebag. One goose step away from being a fascist. I **hate** him.”

Max went quiet at the news.

She didn’t like what she was hearing.

Was Rachel really the only relationship she still had that she didn’t dislike somehow?

“Then I’m like … I don’t know … maybe a week or so off from killing myself.”

Max blinked and stared intently at Chloe.

She was suicidal?

Chloe could see the troubled reaction on Max’s face.

Somehow, she was able to find entertainment out of it, and exhaled, amused.

She put her bottle down.

“Relax. This was a while ago. Anyway,”

Chloe breathed in,

“Rachel finds me being a fucking idiot at a skate park. I … I don’t know what she saw in me. I had to have looked like shit. There was literally no reason for her to bother, but …”

She just let the thought hang for a few seconds.

“She did, anyway.”

Chloe’s voice suddenly came out halting, and a little miserable.

“She _is_ nice like that.”

Max wasn’t even sure how much she believed her own words, but.

She wanted to see that smile on Chloe’s face again.

And that was the right combination of words to bring that about.

Chloe sighed dreamily and nodded.

She smiled.

“Yeah. She’s an angel, Max. I wouldn’t be here without her. She saved me.”

Max tried her best not to frown.

Unsaid, but strongly implied, was

_From the hole you and my dad put me in._

Max honestly didn’t know what to say about all of this.

Maybe there really wasn’t anything to say.

Maybe there were no words that could be formed that would make Chloe feel better.

Maybe Max couldn’t fix this just by finding some excuse.

Maybe she just had to prove she wasn’t going to be a flaky friend, anymore.

As the quiet moments ticked on, Chloe took another sip from her bottle, and Max went back to staring at nothing in particular.

 

Something was bothering Max, though.

“Rachel’s awful, um, forward.”

Chloe laughed earnestly.

It was slightly uneven in a way Max wasn’t familiar with.

Maybe from alcohol.

“Noticed that, did ya’? Yeah, she’s real punk. Doesn’t care about society’s rules about relationships or dating or … nothing.”

Chloe said it in this affectionate, thoughtful way with this stupid smile on her face.

Max didn’t want to disrupt it, since Chloe looked so happy in these moments, but.

It was going to keep eating away at her if she didn’t know.

“Doesn’t it bother you? You seem to like her an awful lot.”

Chloe went quiet.

She put the beer bottle back down, and her expression soured.

She looked over to Max.

“It doesn’t really matter what I want, Max. So long as she’s happy, I’m happy.”

Max couldn’t help but frown at this.

It didn’t sound like anything Max would want to be a part of, herself.

But there was this look on Chloe’s face.

She was waiting for Max to say something.

For her reaction.

The frown was alone enough to make her look away, and find her beer bottle again.

“No one understands.”

Max still didn’t know what to say.

So she said nothing.

And the silence grew thicker and heavier.

Soon, an uncomfortable burden, that made anymore discussion impossible.

Since its very weight choked off any words.

 

After what felt like an eternity, and after the pattern of their bodies had worn into the couch,

“So, if we’re talking girls: You and Vic. How the fuck.”

Chloe looked to Max, again, and Max looked to Chloe.

Max hesitated.

Chloe continued,

“I mean, I get it, she’s hot as fuck, but … kind of a bitch, you know?”

Max sighed.

“She wasn’t always like that.”

Chloe’s face contorted in a way Max knew was disbelief.

Max crossed her arms.

“In high school, I was all alone. My parents tried, but they didn’t know what to do or say. I got picked on a lot. Bullied.”

Max closed her eyes and sighed gently.

“Victoria was there for me. Not … immediately, but. She saw … something … in me, somehow, and decided to help me, one day.”

When Max opened her eyes again, Chloe was still looking at her.

Only now her lips were pursed, and she was keeping content eye contact.

“She taught me how to dress, how to stop stammering like an idiot, how to talk to strangers, how to be more confident in classes …”

Max’s words slowly trailed off, as did her gaze, back to the graffiti.

“How to kiss … I don’t know what I’d be without her, but … it wouldn’t have been good.”

Chloe followed Max’s eyes.

They both shared a thought for a few seconds.

Chloe vocalized it, first.

“She was like your Rachel, then.”

Max hesitated, but nodded.

“I guess so.”

They looked back to one another.

Chloe’s face was troubled, now.

Frowning.

“But you’re not together, anymore.”

Max nodded again.

“Victoria is … a complicated person. She um. Doesn’t think she’s gay.”

Chloe crossed her arms and sighed.

“Yeah. She’s certainly been ‘straight’ here. Hell of a thing to deny when you’re fucking a girl, though.”

Max blushed a little at the vulgarity, and Chloe laughed.

Max did, too.

“You dork.”

Quiet.

Max let her smile fade.

“It didn’t bother me, at first. Being quiet about it at all.”

Max looked off into the distance.

“It was like we were just really close friends.”

She blushed a bit more,

“E-except um, when no one was looking, we kissed and …”

Chloe got this _stupid_ grin on her face and leaned over _right_ next to Max’s ear,

“… fucked like rabbits.”

Max groaned and playfully shoved Chloe, her blush all-consuming and painfully hot.

“Chloe! I’m being serious!”

Chloe dissolved into boundless, joyful laughter.

Despite her best efforts to be annoyed, though, Max couldn’t help but to laugh with her, soon enough.

She was infectious, like that.

After they had some time to calm down, Max sighed and slouched back into the couch.

“But the longer I stayed with her, the more it bothered me.”

Chloe recognized the sober nature of their conversation, despite her inebriated state, and tried to exercise some self-control. 

She just looked thoughtfully at Max.

Max continued,

“Like, what am I even to her? Just a person to do those … things, with? Did she even care about me? Or was I just a toy?”

Quiet.

Max frowned.

“Then, one day, I walk her out to her parent’s car, after they came to pick her up from mine. I-I wasn’t even thinking, I swear, and I kissed her, and her _dad_ gets out of this fucking car, and his face is like, … I-I don’t know, but i-it was… _scary_.”

Chloe’s eyes got a bit wider.

She scooted closer to Max.

Max looked down to her lap.

“But Victoria … didn’t care about me, right then, right there. She pushed me away and got … a-angry, like he did, and I just …”

Max’s voice wavered more and more, and she sniffled.

“Shh.”

Chloe raised a hand up to gently rub at Max’s shoulder, suddenly.

“It’s okay. I get it. I don’t need any more details.”

Max sniffled again.

But she appreciated Chloe’s warmth for all it was worth.

Quiet.

She looked up, then back to Chloe.

“Anyway, um, yeah. I dumped her after that.”

Max breathed in deep,

“It was hard. She was so important to me. She made me into everything I am today, but … I wasn’t happy.”

Max breathed easily.

That had wanted to come out, for a while.

Despite being reunited only for a short while, it didn’t feel odd or awkward to share this with Chloe.

Perhaps because Chloe shared about Rachel, too.

 

Chloe continued to rub at Max’s shoulder as she finished her story.

She’d ended up frowning at the end, though.

Not out of annoyance or any kind of frustration.

Just that last line.

_She was so important to me. But I wasn’t happy._

It was intoxicating.

Infuriating in its unassailable logic.

Chloe was suddenly very done with this topic.

Maybe for now.

Maybe forever.

“Enough girl talk.”

Max laughed weakly.

Not like she was going to object to that, now.

 

But she had a thought, suddenly.

“I want to see what else has changed. Does the train still come by the tracks here? Or can we mess around on it?”

Chloe stood up and scoffed, amused.

“Like a train is going to stop me having fun.”

Max stood up with her, and smiled.

“If it kills you, that might be a little inconvenient.”

Chloe just shrugged, but smiled with Max.

“Maybe a little. Haven’t tried it yet, so, hard to know for sure.”

Max laughed.

Chloe walked past her.

“Five more minutes. Need more beer.”

Max groaned.

“You’re already wobbly. Do you need more?”

Chloe just scoffed.

“Miss ‘I go to Vortex parties’ is lecturing me on drinking. How cute.”

Max rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

But, then.

Fucking, then.

A terrible part of her picked an inopportune time to reappear.

_She needs it to enjoy time around you._

Max sighed and moved one of her hands up to rub at her arm.

“Alright, fine.”

She didn’t try to make her voice sound like anything in particular.

But when her words landed, Chloe hesitated, and looked back.

Then, she frowned, and sighed as well.

There must have been something dreadful on Max’s face.

She tried to cover it up with a gentle smile.

Chloe walked back to Max and carefully placed a hand on her shoulder.

She gently rubbed.

“Or maybe not. I’m feelin’ pretty good right now, anyway, and you’re a hella good distraction.”

Max’s smile felt more authentic, now, and she laughed gently.

“I’m just a good distraction? You hurt me, Chloe.”

Max could never figure out how Chloe’s words always brought out her playful side so effortlessly.

Chloe’s face sobered up considerably, but then she put on a haughty voice.

“Miss Caulfield, at the moment you are at one out of ten friendship units required in order to advance to ---“

Max broke down into giggles.

Chloe pulled her hand away and grinned unevenly.

“Now let’s go dance on the train tracks.”

But she hesitated, and blinked.

“Wait, did Vic teach you how to dance yet, or is that on me?”

\---

Carefully, quietly, Victoria made her way out of her room.

It was like ass’o’clock.

One of the rare and fleeting times she neither dressed particularly well nor had on makeup.

Vulnerable, in a way.

She’d just woken up from a nightmare.

She wanted to splash a lot of water on her face.

All of the dorms shared a bathroom with their peers on the same floor.

It felt barbaric and exposing, but her parents told her this was the “authentic” college experience.

Inside the shared bathroom, she leaned over of the stand-alone sinks and gripped tightly at the edges.

She turned on the faucet and started to splash water on her face.

She never looked at the mirror in front of her, though.

Not like she wanted to see herself, right now.

After what had to have been minutes of just heavy breathing and water splashing, Victoria stood up straight and walked out of the bathroom.

This was a mistake.

As soon as she quietly closed the door behind her, she felt a body colliding with hers and pressing her up against a nearby wall.

She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand came to cover her mouth.

She still tried, though.

“Hey. Shh. It’s me. Rachel.”

Like that was any fucking comfort.

When Victoria’s mind finished processing what had happened, she realized she was staring dumbly at Rachel’s visage.

It was hard to see in the poor lighting conditions, and her hair was obscuring most of her face.

After she was certain Victoria wasn’t going to scream, Rachel moved her hand away.

Victoria tried to shove her off.

Rachel was taller, but Victoria worked out more often.

Or so she thought, anyway.

Rachel still effortlessly found Victoria’s wrists, got the purchase she wanted through nails, and brusquely pinned them to the wall on either side of Victoria’s body.

This was bad.

Really bad.

Not just because Rachel, of all people, was doing this, but ---

This was just like her fantasies.

“The … fuck is your damage, Rachel.”

She tried her very hardest to sound intimidating and fierce and sharp, but.

Victoria didn’t feel the part without the illusion of her appearance in place.

And the compromising position had her breathing just that short enough to impact her ability to speak clearly.

Rachel hummed thoughtfully.

“I know you want this, Vicky.”

Victoria’s eyes went wide, and she struggled against Rachel’s pinning again.

The reward for her efforts was Rachel’s nails digging in exceptionally harshly to the skin along Victoria’s wrists.

Unfortunately, Victoria wasn’t expecting that at all, and couldn’t help the shaky, quiet moan it elicited out of her.

“Fuck off… You don’t … You don’t know anything about me.”

Just about all of the presence from her voice was gone, now.

Breathless, dreamy, distant, unconvincing.

Rachel didn’t listen to it for a second.

“And this game of acting all hard to get and uppity is part of it, too.”

Victoria grunted, but had to look away and close her eyes.

This was ridiculous.

How the fuck ---

Rachel moved her head down and forward, and bit down on the skin about Victoria’s neck.

 

Whatever trail of thought Victoria had evaporated without a trace, after that.

She produced a much more excited moan from that.

“Fuh … fuck you.”

Rachel broke away from the bite to giggle tiredly.

She looked up to breathe into Victoria’s ear,

“That’s the idea, babe.”

Rachel started to lower one of her hands.

For some reason, Victoria didn’t resist, anymore.

Neither when the hand came to her thigh, nor the nails involved themselves there.

Not even when she bit her lip, and ---

\---

Victoria woke up, again.

She blinked her eyes rapidly, and looked around frantically.

For a few seconds, anyway.

Then she just groaned severely, morbidly, and brought both of her hands up to fiercely cram them against her face.

Fuck.

Fucking fuck.

Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck _fuck._

This was so fucking stupid.

So fucking unfair.

So fucking _cruel._

As she brought her hands down, Victoria threw her blanket off and leaned off the edge of her bed.

She clasped her hands together, and sighed.

It felt like there was a lot of weight pushing her back down, compelling her to lean forward.

The fantasies were back.

The last time she had these ---

Victoria raised a hand up to rub at her temples.

Max.

Back then, she could tell herself it was a one-off kind of deal.

Max was cute.

She had endearing freckles.

She had beautifully blue eyes.

She smiled in just the right ways.

Her laugh was so cute.

And she was so kind.

There were a lot of reasons to like Max, and none of them involved the fact she was a woman.

That was incidental.

Coincidental.

If Max was a boy, Victoria would surely be as attracted to her.

She found it harder to tell herself these things, now, though.

These sorts of fantasies now only involved women.

Exclusively.

And from the heat that her body felt right now, she knew, somewhere, that it’s what her body wanted.

 

But.

This couldn’t be.

This wasn’t right.

This was an impulse.

An urge.

It was sinister, and corrupting.

She could choose how to act on it.

Just like she could choose not to eat when she was sad as comfort.

The life of a homosexual was one of depraved immorality.

Unconscionable lust.

Boundless sin.

There was no happiness for her down that path.

And it was only her stupid body standing in the way of being correct.

Of being normal.

Still.

She wasn’t sure if she was more happy that these fucking fantasies stopped being about Max.

Or more distraught about what her body had decided to fixate on, in her place.

Out of all people it could have possibly been about – Nathan, Jefferson, Taylor, Courtney – hell, even Chloe ---

It had to be Rachel.

Of course it just fucking had to be.

The only person in this stupid school more perfect than Victoria.

The only person truly in control of all of these fucking social circles.

The only person Victoria probably couldn’t have with a snap of her fingers.

With another sigh, Victoria laid back down on her bed.

She closed her eyes, and relieved that fantasy.

She didn’t remember, exactly, when the fantasies started to be about her being dominated.

Instead of her dominating someone else.

Surely the more natural arrangement.

She stopped questioning it, at some point.

She brought the sheets back over, and started to roam her own body with her fingers.

It’s what her body wanted.

And she wasn’t going to fucking get any sleep at all if she was pent up like this.

She’d ask for forgiveness, later.

And continue to pray that these urges just go away.

No one else could possibly understand how she felt, right now.

 

The next morning, Victoria got up, got dressed, and put on her makeup.

She wasn’t feeling up to her morning exercise.

She made her way out of her room, and knocked on her neighbor’s door.

Kate carefully opened it, but only partially.

“Um … Victoria? What is it?”

Victoria had her arms crossed and this kind of severe look on her face.

Like she usually did.

But then she just sighed, and allowed her hands to fall down.

She hesitated.

But she had to get this over with.

Her body’s urges were going to tear her apart otherwise.

With a heavy sigh,

“I want to talk to you about religion.”

Kate blinked only about a million times.

Victoria couldn’t look her in the eyes.

“I … really?”

“Yes. Can you please just … let me in?”

Victoria’s tone was so unusually troubled, and her posture so unusually drained of confidence, Kate was taken aback.

Perhaps she should have been more distrustful.

Perhaps she should have just closed the door, for everything Victoria had done prior.

But instead, Kate smiled weakly, and opened her door.

“It’s never too late to find Jesus.”

Victoria laughed awkwardly.

“I um.”

She looked around, before walking inside of Kate’s room.

When Kate closed the door, Victoria sighed again and turned to face her.

“I’ve always believed. That’s not what this is about.”

Kate’s expression fell, slightly.

She clasped her hands together, and slowly walked to the edge of her bed to sit down on it.

“Alright. I’m all ears, then. My dad was a bible scholar – I think I could help you with whatever it is.”

Finally, some good news.

Victoria looked around again, and seeing no better seating available, sat down on Kate’s bed as well, although with some distance between them.

“I want to talk to you about being gay.”

Victoria could see the naked shock on Kate’s expression, before she had the better sense to hide it.

“Oh.”

“Not ---“

Kate blinked.

Victoria sighed.

“--- Not that I am, or anything. I just want to know. In general. You know?”

Kate took a few moments to process.

But then she just smiled earnestly.

“Of course, Victoria.”


End file.
